Gratitude for 30 Days. Here's What I Learned.

A month ago, I told all of you that I was gonna spend the month of June doing a gratitude challenge. before you roll your eyes, I get it, I wasn't trying to publish a paper. I'm just trying to see if this gratitude challenge worked for me in some way. I wanted to see honestly what kind of what kind of impact it had, if any, and then come back and tell you what I noticed. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Five questions. One thing I'm grateful for, one challenging situation from the day, person I'm grateful for, one thing I like about myself, and my favorite moment from the day. That's it. And of the instructions on there was overthink it. Five questions. Maybe it took me five minutes. enough. I mean, that's what I thought. Somewhere around day ten, it started to feel a little bit like homework. You know, I'd get into bed and I'd think, shit, I forgot to do that. I still have to do the gratitude thing. I wouldn't call it life-changing. there's no, flying around me or anything like or landing on my shoulder. Yeah, there was nothing like super profound. But Even though it felt kind of average. I started to look back at everything that I had written. And and things did get a little interesting. I had some takeaways. And the first arguably one of the more powerful ones for me, was I gave the bad. way too much weight. That was the biggest lesson. Hands down, I think. When I look back through the thirty days, every day had really good things. They weren't like incredibly huge things or whatever. They were just little things. Dinner with my family, a funny conversation, you know, a good workout, fighting with a new coffee maker, whatever it was, all these little moments, I realized that there were lots of them. And then there'd be one really annoying thing, whether it was a frustrating conversation or an email, One thing that got to me, it irritated me. And here's what surprised me. And you probably know what I'm gonna say. The bad stuff wasn't actually bigger. I was making it bigger. If I had to picture it, all of the good from one day would have filled a five-gallon bucket. And the bad A coffee mug. I mean honestly, even a shot glass, but let's go a coffee mug. But somehow I was carrying that coffee mug around like it weighed fifty pounds. And that's what kind of got me. Nothing else about my day changed. In fact, I realized all these great little things that happen day to day. But what was hijacking my attention was the negative. And that was very interesting. Second takeaway was that sometimes your brain tells you a story that isn't completely accurate. I I said it in one of the other episodes. after I came home from the struggle well course. One of my biggest thoughts coming out of there was, I think I'm starting to isolate. So in other words, just not hang out with anybody I'd rather just be home, be by myself, go smoke a cigar, whatever. And that seemed very true, and I believed it. I after going to that class, I thought that was something I needed to work on. Then I started out answering these questions, who are you grateful for today? my wife, my daughters, family kept showing up, and that doesn't surprise me one bit. But what did surprise me was how many friends outside of the first circle that I kept writing down. And these are people that I genuinely enjoy spending time with, people who have absolutely nothing to do with policing. So in a way that was reassuring to Somewhere I had convinced myself that I was isolating. And honestly, maybe I was a little bit, maybe I am, but not as bad as I thought when I left that class. So That was a takeaway. sometimes what I was feeling or aren't the facts. this provided some evidence. to say, okay, I don't have to accept that story that I've been telling myself. That's not the truth. So that was cool. Third takeaway was the hardest question. Well, the easiest question was what challenged you today? Right? Easy. we can answer before someone's even finished asking the question. The hardest one every single night for me. What's one thing you like about yourself? This one just got me every night. And it's not because I don't like myself or whatever. it's not that. I'm pretty comfortable with who I am. I got plenty to improve on. I mean, otherwise I wouldn't spend so much time talking about growth and wellness and even doing this stuff. So I get it. But actually writing down something positive about yourself, I it felt weird and it was a challenge. And it wasn't like I felt like I was bragging or anything. Nobody was gonna look at this stuff. But it just made me think. I'm a lot better criticizing myself than giving myself any positive credit. I thought that was very interesting. one of the conversations that's been coming up for me a lot recently has been just that positive self talk stuff. So it's funny how how life works. the fourth takeaway Patterns don't lie. doing this exercise, I knew it wasn't gonna solve any problems or make me healthier or or even more disciplined, but it did expose patterns, some habits or lack of habits. And they they just showing up. Same themes. Different days. Over and over, so it I couldn't ignore them. And that's been one of one of the biggest benefits of this I think is it made it impossible for me to pretend that those things weren't there. So It was cool to see, those two, three things that I'm like, this keeps showing up. I've already started working on those things. Takeaway number five for me was maybe this wasn't even gratitude. that probably sounds strange, I think this exercise changed what what I pay attention to. And again, in as first responders, we literally get paid to notice what's wrong, danger, conflict. That hypervigilance, that's what makes us good at this job. the problem is switching it off. We don't just notice what's wrong at work, we notice what's wrong everywhere. And then without realizing it, we start believing that it's all all there is. So this challenge reminded me that it isn't. It reminded me that reality is more balanced than I give it credit. so was it worth it? I y I think so. Absolutely. I'm still sarcastic and stubborn and still gonna get irritated it did point out some important things. to take that look in the mirror can be challenging. I wasn't having bad days, just bad moments. inside of like some really great days. ask yourself this question, what happened today That you're giving more weight than it actually deserves. maybe it isn't the whole story. We'll see you next time.