Live With End in Your Sights.

Elliott: There's some times when I say that dog people can be a little crazy. And I say that with love because apparently I'm one of you. But I've noticed something. If you post something, like if a department posts something on social media, missing person flyer, people share it. People care. But if you post a missing dog, we ride at dawn. Everybody's involved. You got people checking ring cameras. Somebody's got a flashlight 200 miles away is saying, shared and press guisle. Thanks, Bev. But if if Sonny made it to Canada, then I think we got much more significant problems. And when somebody finds the missing dog, the internet becomes good again for about six minutes. He's home. People, people who've never met this freaking dog are are crying at work and Heart emojis. And you know what? I'm making light of it, but I love it. I love it. Because maybe dogs and pets in general are one of the last things it seems that we can all agree on. Where's Buster? We'll solve the rest of the world's problems tomorrow. Find Buster. Anyway, I say that to say we might be getting another dog. My wife and daughter already started sending some pictures, which I mean, which I think means that I'm pretty sure the decision making portion of this process has ended. And at this point, I'm basically just waiting for the new dog to show up. Right now we've got Sonny. He's he's about two years old. Hopefully we've got another twelve, fourteen years with him. And I don't even like saying that because when you bring home a dog, there's this weird thing. you agree to without ever really saying it out loud, you know how this ends. You know that if everything goes the way it's supposed to, someday this thing that you end up loving is gonna break your heart. And we do it anyway. Actually, we don't just do it anyway. We're we're better for having done it. And that got stuck in my head because maybe knowing something doesn't last forever isn't a reason to love it less or anything like that. Maybe it's part of the reason we should pay attention to it while it's here. Welcome back to Main Responder. It's just me today. And despite that opening, this is not going to be an episode about dying or being depressed or anything like that. Actually, I think it's the exact opposite. So bear with me. I think it's about living. Because I came across this old phrase a while back, memento mori, Latin. Basically, it means remember that you will die, which is a hell of a way to start your morning. You know, pour pour your coffee. Remember that you will die. Can I check my email first, maybe? But that phrase doesn't it isn't meant to be depressing. It wasn't supposed to make people afraid of dying. It was supposed to remind them to live. Remember that this ends. So pay attention while you're here. And that's what hit me. Especially in the work that we do. You know, first responders probably understand that reality better than most people. Because we've seen how quickly a normal day can become something else. Somebody wakes up, goes to work, drives home, and boom, life changes. We know that. But knowing something intellectually and actually living like you know it are two very different things. Because I can still get wrapped up in this shit. If I'm being fair, it probably doesn't matter nearly as much as I think it does in the moment. I can still say, I'll do that later. We'll take a trip another time. I'll I'll call him I'll call him this week. Then another week goes by. That's part of Memento Mori. That's the part of Memento Mori that I that I actually like. It's not It's not you're going to die. It's you're here, right now. Don't miss it. And I started thinking about my kids. My my oldest daughter's grown up. My younger daughter is is growing up way too fast. And everybody tells you this, especially when your kids are little. Enjoy it. It goes by so fast. Does it? There's some days where a Tuesday feels like it's eleven years long. And some you know, somehow, you know, they were right. Cause you blink and the little kid isn't little anymore. And there are moments I can remember like they happened yesterday. Little hands, little voices, carrying them when they fell asleep. And you don't know it at the time. But somewhere in there was the last time that you were ever gonna do some of those things. Nobody tells you. This is the last one. You just do it, and life keeps moving. And that shouldn't make you sad. Maybe a little bit, honestly. I think I got a little choked up there when I was saying it. But mostly it makes me think to pay attention. Because honestly, each and every one of you're listening to this today, the two of you, you still have today. And that brought me to something that bothered me a little more. I started wondering who gets the best version of me. I can give a lot to people during the day. Somebody comes into my office and needs something, I'll listen. Someone's struggling, I'll make time, somebody needs advice, I'll sit there with them. And then sometimes I I'll get home. And somebody I love asks me something while I'm looking at my phone. And inside I'm like, what? I don't say it. I'm not completely stupid, but I can feel it, and I've caught myself doing that. I can give patience and attention to everybody else. And then I come home and I'm running on about 4% battery. Don't open another app because the whole freaking thing might shut down. And that's where this thing stopped being some Latin phrase for me because people at home aren't interrupting my life. They are my life. I love my work. I'm I'm I'm proud of what I've done. I still have some things I want to accomplish. I don't think the answer is to stop caring about your career. I don't think it's to quit your job, move into the woods, and start making your own soap or honey. I don't know. I I like indoor plumbing. I'm staying. But I do think there's a difference between building a life and being so busy that you forget to actually live in it. And I don't want to do that. Same thing with friends, right? Especially guys. We're freaking terrible at this. I've got people I genuinely like who I haven't talked to in months. And you run into each other at some point, brother. Big hug. Dude, we got to get together. You know, absolutely. Yeah, I mean it. Yeah, we always say that. So I don't know. Apparently, we just lack the the capacity to select a random Tuesday to get together. And then somebody will retire, someone moves, gets sick, whatever. And then, you know, then suddenly it seems like everyone knows exactly what they want to say. the guy meant so much. The the guy changed my life. You know, did we tell him? Why were we so good at telling people what somebody meant to us after they're gone? Tell them right now. Not because something is bad is about to happen, just because something good is happening. We're all here. I'm here, you're here. That's the whole point. I think that's where I finally landed with all of this memento mori. Remember that you will die. It sounds dark, but I actually think there's something really hopeful about it. Because the message isn't you're running out of time. The message is you still have some. You have today. You've got 40 years, maybe 50. Hopefully, a hell of a lot more time than you think. But but you definitely have today or right now. And I'm starting to think that there's a difference between simply getting through a day and actually being there for it. Imagine yourself at eighty five years old. You get to watch one completely ordinary day from your life right now. Not the awards, not the big moments, just a Saturday. Your family's downstairs, the dog's running around, somebody texts you. And there you are, worried about some shit you probably won't even remember six months from now. I don't think that eighty-five year old Elliot is yelling, check your email. He's probably saying, dude, go downstairs. They're all there. And maybe that's why this whole thing started with the dog for me. You bring a dog into your life knowing you don't get forever. And somehow that doesn't make loving the dog pointless. It makes the time you have more important. And maybe life works the same way, right? Your kids grow up, your friends get older, you get older, things change. None of us gets to freeze the good parts, I don't think. But we do get to be there for them. And maybe that's enough. Memento moral. Remember that you will die. Not because you should spend your life thinking about death. Quite the opposite. Every once in a while, remember to be here while we're here, while we're alive. I'm mostly talking to myself anyway, but Hug your kid, pet the dog, call your friend, take the damn trip, burn some of that PTO. Life is short. It's happening right now. And you don't want to miss it. And we're probably getting another dog, so Main responder, take care of yourselves, take care of each other, be safe.